Jerk your Pickle :)

Cucumber Man

When I was a nickel
my mamma done told me
not to play with my pickle;
she said if you jack off
your pickle will fall off,
you won't get no wife,
and you gonna be sorry
the rest of your life.

Now I didn't listen
to what my mamma said;
I played with my pickle
when I went to bed.
I worked it and worked it,
and the more that I jerked it,
it got longer and longer,
'til my pickle became
a cucumber instead.
Now I'm a cucumber man;
that's what I am --
I'm a cucumber man.
Glory be!

So all of you young boys
keep on jerkin' your gherkin,
and some day you're gonna be
a cucumber man like me.
I'm a cucumber man;
that's what I am --
I'm a cucumber man.
Glory be!

-- Gregory Fegel